Find Me
by EternusX229
Summary: They had their own language or so it was speculated. It was more like a feeling. The way someone could feel when something was wrong, or when something felt right; it was the same feeling but it was amplified further the longer the contact was made. Pain, sadness and happiness were all feelings that bled through them in a way where it could reveal so much more in between them.


_**Happy Birthday to our Leap Year baby Fuji Syuusuke!**_

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They had known before he could confirm.

It wasn't bad but it was welcoming all the same. Never shunned but accepted into a reality where here it was unspoken of. Tezuka couldn't be happier for him but what's more, he knew now he didn't have to hide but still the thought lingered on.

Those eyes peered up at him during dinner and the subtle changes were seen through in a manner where it was custom. That smile spoke volumes to him. It was kind, endearing and it was all he had ever known. It was all he wanted to know but he knew like all good things, at some point they would have to go their separate ways but for now, he'd stay as long as he could just to see it once more.

He would never see the color blue the same again. It entrapped him and held him captive in a veil that seemed to cloud his judgement. Even now at this moment as those eyes peered up at him from beside him, he could do nothing but smile in return. They had their own language or so it was speculated. It was more like a feeling. The way someone could feel when something was wrong, or when something felt right; it was the same feeling but it was amplified further the longer the contact was made. Pain, sadness and happiness were all feelings that bled through them in a way where it could reveal so much more in between them. He hadn't felt it anywhere else and he wasn't going to lie and say it wasn't scary the first time; but with time he grew used to this bond they shared. Overwhelming but somehow just right.

Tezuka let himself smile even if it was a little around Fuji. He wanted to convey what it was he felt for him even though he knew he didn't need to. At least here in the comfort of the Fuji family it was all tangible because they could be them. Fuji's sister and mother hadn't minded much the space between but still, Tezuka was respectful, Fuji knew it and so did they. It was one of the reasons why it was okay. Fuji liked to dance along the idea of the subtly between them, daring their relationship in a way that was healthy for them; sliding his fingers along his arm and the like but he tried to maintain a better image. It was the playfulness of it that had gotten him to fall for it sometimes and the slight gestures Yumiko would throw at him that embarrassed him but all the same it was bearable and just.

Fuji knew it was another reason to fall in love with the person who kept others in mind and was considerate of those around him. Tezuka was more than just his best friend but a partner he could see himself spending his life with. It was ridiculous, he knew it was. Despite their age, stretching the reality to that length merited less but there was no other way he could put it. He felt good, comfortable and in a way, whole with Tezuka. It was indescribable but he could also feel _it._ That feeling of loss. It was scary. It was terrifying but he knew that at some point too, the obstacles would grow and it was something that would test them. It would test him.

Tezuka snaked his hand into his after dinner had ended and they had retreated to the bedroom. A small smile played along his lips and all he could feel was the light squeeze against his hand. It was reassuring. It was okay to feel this moment, just _this_ moment. Fuji looked away before he lost himself in the many thoughts that passed by him. Dangerous and dark, a side of him he hardly ever wanted to wander in. Tezuka knew how to shake him. Knew how to keep him on his toes and made him want more whether he knew it or not, he liked that aspect of him. Right now, the thoughts were racing so fast that he needed to just focus on this, on what they had now but still even if that was the case he could hardly stop his own musing.

Tezuka saw it flutter by before he couldn't see it anymore. It was like seeing fog fill an empty forest except Fuji was never left without a sound like the vast greenery. He smiled a little to calm himself before speaking, "Syuusuke." He whispered knowing that it held a weight to both of them. Enveloping him into his arms, he held him not tight but just enough for him to know he was there. Fuji wasn't frail. He was anything but frail but he was extremely perceptive and that meant he needed some reassurance from time to time. Tezuka loved that because it was the most humane yet complex thing that anyone could need. It was simple but not everyone could get that opportunity unless you were them.

He could feel him calm down and so he pulled away to look into bright blue eyes. Just like the ocean and the sky, they were at war but right now as he looked into them they were his hope. Bright and looking right through him. No words were necessary for them to hear as Fuji leaned forward allowing their lips to touch briefly. It wasn't a needy action but rather one full of gratitude. He wished today would've been anything but that because he wanted it to just be full of what it was he felt for him, he wanted to let him feel. So before Fuji could say anything else, he took his hand into his again and took him to the bed.

Fuji was peculiar but he was also unique in so many ways. He knew Fuji wasn't bashful or shameful in any way and he didn't care what others thought. Tezuka admired him for that. "There's something I wanted to give you." He found himself saying not at all knowing how to put it all together simply because he couldn't contain what he was about to do. He was shocked when Fuji had asked him last year but it had to be this year at least to finalize everything it was he could convey. He reached over grabbing the box he had placed earlier in his drawer at his sister's permission, he took in a deep breath.

Fuji watched as a frazzled Tezuka handed him the box in his hands, unsure of what to make of everything mostly because he hadn't expected anything from him. Tezuka had given him more than he could ever ask for. But as fingers placed the rectangular shaped box in his hands, he softly smiled tilting his head in question. Opening the box, Fuji's smile dropped and couldn't believe that his selfish request was being granted but before he could say anything in disbelief, Tezuka placed a hand over his again. A smile graced that face of his that he sometimes would think was almost too handsome to wake up to. He was more than just perfect and this was another level in their relationship because they were building this trust together.

"It's okay." Tezuka simply said as they made eye contact. It wasn't a simple okay but rather approval from more than two parties and that alone meant more to him than anything because Tezuka was just that, proper and careful of boundaries. Some found it tiring but he found it endearing and irreplaceable.

Tezuka cupped Fuji's cheek with a smile before lightly touching his earlobe. He was shocked when Fuji had told him he had wanted a piercing. It wasn't necessary he thought then but Fuji had thrown him the biggest smile with what he could describe as pure joy from just the thought of it. He played with the idea thinking what it would look like on him and he couldn't really picture it. Fuji was perfect the way he was. "_If it was you, it'd mean everything." _Fuji had whispered before he fell asleep in his arms that night. He had their hands intertwined and he pondered the idea not knowing why until he knew then that it was because Fuji was different. He was unique in his own way and he was proud of that even though it was hardly present.

If he could think back on when he had uttered those words that meant more to him than he imagined, he couldn't ever think that Tezuka had taken them seriously. Fuji looked into hazel eyes looking for the answer to his question before Tezuka placed his lips on his, passionately, just enough for him to get his awaited response. His mind in a daze as Tezuka took his breath away, he pulled away staring at him with the most incredulous look he could bear. Bringing him to stand, Fuji followed Tezuka to the bathroom where he was placed to sit on the edge of the bathtub. It seemed he had everything ready that he knew his sister must've played her part.

He wondered why it had to be him but it was something that with time he had only received his answer halfway to. To Fuji, this was more than just something that would last a few years and he too could admit to that. This was a form of trust in one another and that's why it had to be him. It meant so much to him as well to know that he was the one doing it but still it wracked him endlessly the more he thought about it. He washed his hands as thoroughly as possible before getting everything ready. There was so much he had wanted to say when he had given Fuji the box that contained the earring he would be wearing. It was simple, with a slight glimmer to it but hardly noticeable; beside it was another earring, one that he had specifically chosen for him. It was a little tight cuff that was made out of sterling silver. He saw the way Fuji looked at it and he wondered if it was okay. As much as he had had Yumiko help him before, this one he had done on his own.

Kneeling down to look at him, Fuji looked back at him unsure. There was a lot that was going through his mind so he paused before doing anything. He said nothing as he looked into his eyes realizing that perhaps for the first time, he didn't know how to feel about it all. It wasn't uncomfortable but rather overwhelming happiness that he was exuding. It was something that he could barely process that Fuji broke out into a smile. Genuine for him to see and that was enough for him. Smiling in turn, he turned his attention to his ear. He had done his research well and even had advice from the lady at the store he had purchased the earrings from. The side eye she had given him hadn't bothered him as much as the way she almost reluctantly hadn't sold him the earrings.

Applying the gel on Fuji's earlobe, Tezuka waited a bit and sterilized the needle. He knew Fuji didn't mind these kinds of things unlike others but still he pushed that ugly fear aside and let himself go back to work. He was confident in himself and that was all that mattered. Giving Fuji one last look, he prepared himself once Fuji slowly nodded at him telling him it was okay. Taking in a deep breath he slowly but gently pushed the needle through. Tezuka peered over at Fuji making sure he was okay. He wanted everything to go right, he wanted to remember this as a moment that meant more than just a materialistic item but more of what they had together. It was unforgettable and above all else special for so many different reasons. It had to be this year, this day, right now and in this moment. He carefully peered over the other side making sure he wasn't applying any unnecessary pressure and let the needle stay there for a while to let it adjust.

Fuji didn't feel anything but a slight sting that he was sure was from the cool of the gel more than the object that had just broken skin. There were so many things he had wanted to say to Tezuka at that moment that he couldn't form the right words so instead, he placed his hand in Tezuka's giving it a light squeeze. He was always accepting of him, heard him out through all the tough times and understood him for who he was. Regardless of the relationship that had developed over the years, regardless of the closeness they had shared, Tezuka was always there for him. This was more than just trust but a friendship he never wanted to let go of even if things didn't go along the right path. He wanted to earnestly see him in any path even if it was just a little bit. It was so much more. Tezuka let out a soft sigh full of relief and Fuji chuckled at his hesitance.

Grabbing onto the box that Fuji had brought with him, he carefully grabbed the small simple looking earring. Removing the needle with extreme care he replaced it with the earring before gently placing the back on it and pulling away. After admiring it for a few seconds, Tezuka whispered softly, "Done." He had already expected what it would look like on Fuji but he hadn't expected it to look … better than what he had imagined. Standing up, he excused himself to retrieve some ice.

Fuji sat there for a few minutes more before standing up to look at himself in the mirror. He couldn't believe that Tezuka had done this for him. It was one thing to be open minded about someone else's opinion in these situations but to grant him the one thing he wanted, he wouldn't ever forget it. Tezuka was gentle as always and attentive that maybe he should become a piercer for a living, he joked to himself. Still the disbelief was just too much. Fuji didn't do it to stand out nor to make a statement but it was about nonconformity, something that spoke to him louder than anything else. So when he randomly bumped into it, he realized that he wanted a way to represent that in a way that it was unharmful. It was like an unbalance of who he was and who he aspired to find within himself whether it was with Tezuka beside him or not, he wanted to be himself and find his balance. Having Tezuka do this for him meant more than just finding who he was with him but that he too was his balance in a way.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he bumped into Tezuka with a pack of ice in his hands. Tezuka smiled in the only way he could and gently placed it behind his ear. He didn't think Tezuka knew the great lengths he went through just to gift him this so he took the pack of ice from him placing it on his computer table. He wrapped his arms around Tezuka's neck taking him for a hug, "Thank you." Fuji whispered. Tezuka's arms wrapped around his waist.

Slowly, Tezuka pulled away to look into azure eyes that held so much in them. Truly like the ocean he became swept away, lost in the typhoon that seemed to always be roaring loudly yet shouting in an endless silence. Becoming pulled in, Fuji brought him in for a kiss that told him everything he needed. Unlike his kiss before it heightened his nerves and senses as it intensified drawing him into wanting more. Tezuka broke away for the sake of air and in slight protest before Fuji gently pushed him onto his bed. He watched as Fuji carefully removed his shirt before getting in bed with as well. Something about seeing the light shimmer from the earring had made the way he got into bed all the more enticing so he also removed his shirt abandoning his own rule.

Fuji kissed him again as he parted his legs to straddle Tezuka and softly sighing contently as their skin made contact with one another. "Happy birthday Syuusuke." Tezuka whispered against Fuji's lips. Pulling away, Fuji looked into hazel eyes that earnestly stared back at him before he could sit up slightly astounded. Staring at the clock he had sitting on his bedside table in shock, he realized it was ten past midnight. He looked back at Tezuka as he sat up to gently run his thumb over the slightly red lobe before looking into shocked eyes. Fuji couldn't believe that Tezuka had done this for him on his birthday. What's more, on the actual day. That's why Tezuka had been frazzled earlier because of this. Fuji could feel the tears starting to form. He turned to look at Tezuka in whatever expression he couldn't hide and he could feel Tezuka place his lips on his own. It was softer than a few moments ago but impassioned, strong and heartfelt. Nothing could describe this moment. The hands that rest on either side of his face were gentle and compassionate reminding him just the kind of relationship they had. Pure and inexplicable but that didn't seem to matter because to them it meant the world.

Fuji softly chuckled as Tezuka wiped away a lone tear. It was ridiculous, he thought. That he would be this vulnerable and so lost in his emotions for something so simple but like everything else they had, he knew it wasn't that simple. Tezuka had been accommodating to his request simply for this moment. Whether he knew it or not, it didn't matter but what did was that it was with him and no one else. Placing his lips on him once more, Tezuka wrapped his arms around his waist enough to convey what he felt in that moment and smiled pulling away to look into his eyes. Whatever obstacles that were soon to come, he knew so long as this bond existed it wouldn't ever falter nor sway.

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**A/N: Finally after 4 excruciating years, it's finally Fuji's real birthday.  
****I wanted to write something that meant more than just a gift, more than just them and something that built on their relationship. I thought about my previous fics, FMV and One Record and tried to build on those grounds. I hope I managed to convey the emotion I had wanted to convey in this fic but what's more, I'm glad I managed to write this for our leap year baby on his actual day. Let me know what you think and let me know how you celebrated Fuji's day! **


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